Volume 25, Number 3

This Woman Breastfeeds in Public. You Won’t Believe What Happens Next!

ma’am you must
cover that baby’s head
if there’s a tit under there

what if some poor man
looks past your infant’s skull
to a glimpse of your areola

and pops a goddamn boner
and cannot be controlled
and security has to be called

and smashes in his tumescent rage
Dan’s glasses—Dan is our security chief—
and Dan has really bad eyes and those cost

a lot to replace. And Dan has a family
to feed his kid’s got lupus—LUPUS, okay?
and that would be your bad that’s on you

do you really want
that kind of fiasco
on your hands, ma’am? be reasonable.

—Timothy Volpert