Volume 32, Number 3

The Road to Good Intentions

The road to good intentions is paved with hell. Hell is a place that bats burst out of, that no other place can be hotter than, that follows what the. The last thing Steve Jobs said was “oh wow, oh wow.” Wow, this left nostril breathing thing actually works. Works of art depict hell as a place of flames and naked people enduring eternal torment. Torment and torture are fraternal twins. Twins was a film that meant well but feels really clichéd watching it now. Now my iPhone is visible on the counter so I’m not worried about looking for it later. Later this century the last of the Arctic ice floes will melt and polar bears will vanish into the blue forever. Forever enduring torment seems like overkill given how short a human life is. Is this dressing fat free?

—Ian Willey