Volume 24, Number 2

Dawn Loaded

You can always install a new operating system. It is clearly possible that will cure the sickness. Discs are available from the mail order catalog in a variety of formats: the periodic table, the medieval manuscript, and the popular carved bone knife, to name just a few. Of course, alternatively, you can retrieve the files directly over the internet. But there are advantages to ordering the discs. For example: when you are in despair about what to do for a follow-up, a recommended technique is to coat the discs with flammable liquids, such as gasoline, political smear tactics or Greek fire, and toss them high into the howling night sky. The flames form an elegant tail on the discs giving an overall impression of dragons flying cursively through the dark night. (This impression is much beloved by beautiful ladies and elderly carpet sellers.) Nevertheless, access over the internet remains the fastest method to receive your new inspiration. And the least likely to bring on the nausea. Look at the blue sidebar. See the icon shaped like a crux ansata? That contains the public key. Use it to unlock the humane potential of your files. You will be up and running around with the angels in no time at all. It is impossible to forget your shadow in such light. While we're at it, say hello to Miss Mann. She can assist you by answering any questions you might have or by helping you deal with any other issues you need to resolve. Perhaps you are bald, perhaps you cannot remember how to tie a Windsor knot, or perhaps you cannot find it in your heart to love a world that seems hell-bent on frustrating your most serious desires—no matter; Miss Mann can help in all circumstances. Remember: all our support is free and available from any continent on the planet twenty-four hours a day, except on Midsummer Eve and when the black swan flies north from Australia for the winter. Buy our product! We guarantee you will wake in the morning truly refreshed.

—Perry L. Powell